Just be glad you’re a Smith, a Jones, a Frank, a Dave or a even a Dweezil. Common names may be boring, but at least you’re not bound for a life of teasing, giggling and chattering behind your back. Unless of course, you’ve been cursed with one of these doozies.
Robert Fagot
We weren’t terribly surprised to discover that Robert Fagot needed Chuck Woolery’s help finding a date. Though it’s probably not his job that’s causing his dating problems like he claims in his introduction video on “Love Connection.”
Anurag Dikshit
Go ahead and laugh at Anurag Dikshit as much as you want, he doesn’t care — he’s one of the richest people in the world. Admit it, you’d become a Dikshit for a lot less than a couple of billion.
Sally Mangina
It’s ironic that a woman with Mangina as a surname would take up a profession involving balls. But hey, that’s part of the mangic of Sally Mangina, tennis coach at lllinois Wesleyan University.
Ben Dova
Ben Dova (not to be confused with the similarly named adult film star) is the stage name of Joseph Spah, a successful Vaudeville comedian. Check out Ben in action atop an NYC skyscraper in 1933 — no wires, nets or camera tricks. That’s entertainment!
Dick Payne
In Australia, both men and woman frequently have to deal with Dick Payne. Particularly if they’re hoping to sell their home quickly.
James Niggemeyer
When Dimebag Darrel of Pantera/Damageplan was shot on stage at a Columbus, Ohio nightclub, Caucasian police officer James Niggemeyer was first on the scene.
Kim Twatt & Jonathan Gash
Kim Twatt is the author of “Straight from the Horse’s Mouth.” Jonathan Gash penned “Every Last Cent.” Here’s to hoping that either one will find themselves a sizable audience sometime soon since it’d be supremely cool to see Twatt or Gash in the pages of the New York Times.
Dr. Reinhardt Adolfo Fuck
Meet Dr. Reinhardt Adolfo Fuck — famous Brazilian geologist.
Dr. Richard Chopp
We’ll give you one guess what Dr. Richard Chopp is best known for in the Austin medical community. Yep, Vasectomies. We can’t make this stuff up, folks.
Lucious Pusey
If you’re a college football quarterback, the last thing you want on the line is a Lucious Pusey — since that’d be sack city. Thankfully, this Pusey is now a Seymour.---www.yuppiepunk.org
